Happy Birthday......

We are each thinking of our big girl as we go about our day today....

We will come together tonight the four of us...gather in from school and work to share a nice meal and talk about her......share, laugh...maybe even a little tear as we remember funny things she did and said.

I can remember her 1st birthday like it was yesterday...funny cause on that birthday I would never have even dreamed on her 20th Birthday we would be here or the last 11 birthdays for that matter....

But it is Ok...we are Ok....she changed our life forever and will continue to impact it every day...till the day we see her again,. xx



 

That Wish....

Back in May 2002 we had a magical experience.

The Make a Wish Foundation granted our Taylor ( who was then 6 years old and had already been through 4 years of a hard journey) her wish.

It was a very long time in the deciding ( 2 years ). It had to be her idea and anything at all  that she wanted......it was a long time before we could get her to think beyond colouring pencils!

Travel wasn't really an option for Taylor and it would have been over in a whirlwind....we wanted something that she could share and have for a very long time.

When we finally did decide, we had chosen something that hadn't been done before and had to be discussed carefully. We had spent a lot of time at The Prince of Wales hospital in Sydney and they had a beautiful fairy garden in the centre of the hospital. It was a beautiful place to hang out with the girls and was the inspiration for our wish.

So once the team at The Make a Wish heard the idea they were very excited and ran with it.

Our very own Fairy Garden at home. 

So the team bought in a landscaping "A team" who just went to town on our whole yard!

We had to sign off on the design which I did with my eyes half closed so that it was a surprise for us all. 

It took three full days  and a big team of very buff landscapers who were seen some days to  be wearing fairy wings while they worked.

We moved out on day two and returned when it was done. 

On the late afternoon of the third day we came home and a party had been organised. All the girls in Taylor's class along with family were invited....Ronald McDonald made an appearance and bought dinner and our local Wendy's provided ice cream cake .The fairy shop provided beautiful dresses for both the girls.

It really was a very special time and gift for us as a family. Taylor spent weeks showing visitors around her new garden.

  

My most favourite photo...it was a total surprise reveal for her and she didn't hide her excitement...such a great response for The Make a Wish team to see.
 

The finished garden as it was in 2002.....
 

The weeping Mulberry then....

Our beautiful Fairy Garden as it is today........

The weeping Mulberry now.....
 

We were totally spoilt with the decision for the Foundation to gran this wish....Taylor enjoyed that garden for the next 2 1/2 years and we have continued to enjoy and share it with many friends over the last 11 years without her.

So again it is really special now to have the time and opportunity to give a little back in a very small way  to 
The Make a Wish Foundation.

Time to give back

I have this theory that in every one of us we have a space that can only be fulfilled by volunteering......giving extra of ourselves to benefit others....

Well OK I know this is true for myself anyway. Over my lifetime I have always volunteered in some way...mostly through my local church. I have helped with community events,in the nursery, joined a team to help those who are less fortunate, put my hand up to just about try anything.

Up until just recently I have always found something or someone who is desperate for extra hands...We have had a shift in that part of our life and even in the short few weeks of this change I am missing exercising my "volunteering muscle".

That is until I discovered a new little shop open not far from home.....
The "Wishing you Well Store".    
Today I headed down and have offered my services for a bit of time each week. This is two fold for me....getting that "volunteering muscle" working and giving back to a charity that we so generously benefited from back in 2002.*

Make a Wish granted our Taylor a wish.....her fairy garden.....After all this time I think the timing is perfect for me to reconnect with some of those lovely people and also give a little back to volunteer in this new venture of theirs.

So it is win for them...and win for me...although my love for op shopping could land me in trouble as I headed home with a few treasures today.

Do you exercise your "Volunteer muscle" anywhere 

*{I really must show you the wish we were granted....it was so fantastic for our Taylor}

Remembering

Last week among all the chaos and busyness of renovating.....

We remembered......well, we always remember , every day, every moment of every day....

but for one day it is all a bit more real

Real that another year has passed

Another year without her

11 to be exact

It wasn't the quiet simple day that I like

but it doesn't stop us remembering

Others remembered too...that helps in a small way

A difficult space of time..........

 

Today

This is us today..........together...celebrating....a birthday...19 years .......

Just one thing missing.....

The birthday girl.....

We carved out a little bit of time in the day where we could all be together...eat...talk...even laugh a little....
For today we celebrate our big girl and her 19th birthday...celebrate the milestone of becoming parents 19 years ago.....

We are smiling in these happy snaps.....but the heart is aching....
It doesn't get any easier with each year that passes...
except for the promise that it is one more year closer to being all back together one day.

There are lots of moments during these days ....moments that I wonder what she would be doing...where she would be....how she would be with her brother and sister.....what our relationship would be like.....

and that's all it is wonder......
that wonder will keep us going......

 

The Biggest Number Yet

Ten.........

 

I read this just last week.....

"Time has done that strange thing it does, where the wound closes just enough to allow you to live, but never enough not to leave a scar"  ***
 
We have lived ten years without our beautiful girl.....it is a really huge number.......

it is a decade
nearly the lifetime of our boy
it has taken us from our late thirties to our late forties......

I am sure that she has seen us living

Seen our hearts breaking

Seen us miss her every day

Heard us talk about her and tell her siblings the stories we never want them to forget.

Yes.... Ten is huge........ 

*** source

Cure Brain Cancer

It is too late for our Taylor.....

but  it doesn't have to be too late for other children.......

The awareness is being raised.....it has to be....the statistics show that Brain cancer kills more children then any other disease......

We have some true champions for the cause....some of the most skilled and best in the field....the thing stopping them changing the statistics....

Awareness and funding!!!

So here check out the petition that you can sign

Listen to this heart breaking story.....

If you can share, talk or give.......please do........it needs to change.

Weekend Snippets

 It was beautiful Autumnal weekend.....we cut early from our usual routine on Sunday and headed off to spend the day remembering "Our Big Girl"......

We tried to make the most of the day...we filled it with good food.....and beautiful little secret spot....colour , sounds, smells, sights, a little playing and togetherness......it was a beautiful day in which we wanted to celebrate, remember and create some more memories.

How special to arrive home to flowers on the doorstep (thank you to however that was)

...and we now have a new addition to our garden......the musical sounds that would have been very fitting  for our firstborn. 

Joining in with The Beetle Shack

Eighteen

 Eighteen years ago I became a mother for the first time

Eighteen years ago my man became a father for the first time

Eighteen years ago we became parents for the first time

For three years it was just the three of us

We cut our parenting teeth on our first born

Learnt many things at a fast pace

Things that helped us with the others

Our firstborn taught us how to be parents for the first time.......

 

A newborn

 1st Birthday

 2nd Birthday

 3rd Birthday

 4th Birthday

 5th Birthday

 6th Birthday

 7th Birthday

8th Birthday

Today we celebrate another birthday with out her...

Ten birthdays we have missed

Eighteen today....life changed on that day

and we are the parents we are today, due mostly for the start she gave us.